Monday, March 8, 2010

Spinning Straw Into Gold

Cerebus has no idea what Lord Storm'send is doing at the hotel or even in Iest, but he follows him anyway. It looks like someone, maybe Powers, has sent him to try and talk some sense into Cerebus. The problem is that the pragmatic farmer is the wrong person to send.

Despite the fact that they're roughly the same height the two do not see eye to eye. The major problem is that both of them think they're always right. Cerebus shows his contempt for Lord Storm'send by ignoring most of what he says, noisily crunching an apple and then sneezing.

The sneeze is accidental and it comes out as a gout of flame. That impresses the Lord and he even says that Cerebus should do that in his talks from the roof, Cerebus says that it means he has a cold and sure enough he does.

He calls for Bear to remove Lord Storm'send. The mercenary gets up from his sleep and proceeds to do as asked. Cerebus goes back to bed, but a door opens in his wall and Lord Julius appears before shutting it again. Cerebus wakes up and looks for the door, it opens above him and smacks him in the head. Cerebus bellows for Bear again.

Cerebus tells him to punch the wall to find the trapdoor. When Bear does so all he gets is a sore hand and a large crack in the concrete. Cerebus climbs into the crack to investigate and gets stuck. As the aardvark says through his blocked up snout: 'Why do nese dings always happed do Bost Holy?'

Lord Julius then starts tickling Cerebus' feet and the trapdoor reappears about half a foot from where Cerebus thought it was. Bear tried to grab Lord Julius, but only succeeds in getting hold of an effigy of Julius, which explodes in his face and throws a cream pie at him. That's enough for the mercenary. He walks.

Cerebus then has to endure a nonsense conversation with Lord Julius and his imbecilic brother, who is now a Lord Julius lookalike. Just when Cerebus thinks things cannot get any worse Lord Storm'send reappears.

I thought things couldn't get much weirder than the dream chapters, this one proved me wrong. Very funny stuff.

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