The Insecure Sinecure

The first genuine chapter of Church & State has the tongue twisting name of The Insecure Sinecure. Cerebus is still at The Blue Duck writing his instruction manual, when 3 overdressed and immaculately coiffed gentlemen enter the establishment and make a beeline for the aardvark.

When he sees the leader, Cerebus has to suppress a groan. It is Lord Julius’ spoilt son, the Prince Valiant lookalike; Silverspoon. With him are 2 hangers on; Gwane and Trystrim. I don’t know if Dave did this consciously or not, but there’s an awful lot of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern about Gwane and Trystrim. Unasked, Silverspoon and his companions seat themselves next to Cerebus, and initially Silverspoon offers him money to write his memoirs. Cerebus becomes interested when Silverspoon explains what a memoir is. He then suggests that they play an incomprehensible card game that has become popular among the upper classes. I thought we’d seen the last of Silverspoon when Lord Julius was attempting to use him as human torch after Cerebus threatened to declare war on election night.

Cerebus gambles with money supplied by Silverspoon and due to not understanding the incredibly complicated and detailed rules has soon lost his stake. Predictably enough the former Prime Minister of Iest loses his temper and sends the trio away in a huff.

The following day Cerebus is mucking out The Blue Duck’s stables to pay off his bar bill, when Silverspoon seeks him out and invites him to accompany him on a visit to the estate of Countess Detin. Cerebus has had more than his fill of high society and mucking out stables is actually preferable to spending any extended amount of time with Silverspoon and his ilk. Gwane comes running up and manages to spill the beans that they can only go see the Countess on the condition that they bring Cerebus with them, and there is also the matter of 400 crowns that she’s given them to ensure this happens. Even with 400 crowns on offer Cerebus plays the Brer Rabbit game and says he’d rather muck out stables. By pooling their available funds Silverspoon, Gwane and Trystrim manage to raise the offer to 600 crowns. Cerebus agrees.

Cerebus then books a lavish mode of transport in front of Silverspoon and his associates. Once they’re gone he changes the method to something more practical and far less expensive and wants it ready in 10 minutes. Typical Cerebus, although you wouldn’t have to be all that bright to outwit Silverspoon, he is so monumentally stupid that you really do wonder if he’s genuinely the scheming Lord Julius’ child.

Election Night

The night of the long awaited election. Cerebus wins the first block of seats and Astoria tells him that he should appear in front of the crowds watching. The aardvark refuses. The events in Campaign’s End have shaken his confidence. He believes that Lord Julius goat is the favourite and he doesn’t want people laughing at him. Bran has almost successfully convinced Cerebus to do as Astoria has requested, but then the next block of seats go to the goat and Cerebus stays put, instead angrily hurling a bewildered Elrod out through the curtain and off the balcony, where the assembled masses mistake him for an entertainer and toss him up in the air for fun. A battered Elrod limps away.

The goat starts winning seats hand over fist and the suspicions rise amongst Cerebus’ party that Lord Julius has somehow fixed the election. Blakely and Filgate (the representative of ‘dadocks’, he and Cerebus have mended their poor start in Petuniacon and the mafiaesque Filgate is now firmly in the aardvark’s camp) argue and then begin to make wagers on the results of the provinces.

Cerebus’ bid for Prime Minister is coming apart at the seams and Cerebus is losing his composure. The anger and frustration that is never far from the surface in Cerebus boils over and he shouts that if he can’t beat Lord Julius in an election he will beat him in a war. He immediately begins to order Drew McGrew (Drew seemed to have become the leader of the brothers, despite the fact that he is younger than Fleagle and was initially the junior partner, the Moon Roach does not appear in Election Night, I assume he was somewhere pursuing his Superman fantasy) and Bran to prepare for a short and brutal conflict.

Lord Julius is thrown into a panic, he’s not equipped for war. To combat Drew’s handpicked thugs and Bran’s pikemen he has a handful of guards armed with butter knives, a pot of boiling oil and his son Silverspoon. He plans to tie Silverspoon to an arrow, set him on fire and hurl him into the midst of the enemy. I had wondered about Silverspoon and whether or not Dave still considered him as one of Julius’ offspring, we hadn’t seen him since the fill in issue that introduced Lord Julius into the story.

Cerebus starts to win a few seats and conflict is averted for the immediate future. There’s a page where we the readers are given a glimpse into the thoughts of six of the main protagonists at that moment in time. Cerebus has fears of being ridiculed and laughed at. I sometimes wonder if Cerebus’ fears of being made fun of are something that affected Dave as well, although being an aardvark in a world of men can’t have been an easy gig. Drew McGrew has visions of being a great military leader with beautiful, scantily clad women at his feet. Lord Julius dreams of ever rising interest rates. Astoria was interesting, she was daydreaming about locking lips with someone who looked scarily like Drew. Given her associations with the Moon Roach and then Cerebus, you wonder if despite her background and upbringing if Astoria actually likes ‘rough trade’. Filgate only wants money, as much of it as he can get. The Elf dreams of Cerebus as an elf. It’s never stated, but I think she was in love with him, in a typically elflike way of course.

The race becomes very tight and it comes down to one province. The seats are split equally between Cerebus and Lord Julius goat. Initially Cerebus and his entourage believe that they have lost, but when Astoria checks the results again she realises that the election is actually tied with 50 seats apiece.

This was an enjoyable issue. Parts of it were too farcical, generally when Lord Julius had centre stage, he was becoming more and more Marxian as the story continued. At times he was indistinguishable from his real life counterpart. If they ever make a movie of High Society they’re going to have to find a Groucho Marx lookalike and soundalike for Lord Julius. Gabe Kaplan would have been perfect, but he’s too old now. There are hints in Cerebus behaviour that power would not be good for him, he shows signs of turning into a genuine tyrant. Astoria will only be able keep him on a leash for so long and with Bran continually stroking his ego and telling him stories of conquest and aardvarkian empires Cerebus could become totally out of control. Certain parts of the chapter were narrated by an unseen voice, it happened during Campaign as well and maybe Campaign’s End, it was like one of those books or documentaries about elections where someone tells the story of their experience with a prospective candidate. The fact that it can be recognised as such is a rather telling commentary that in literature of that sort very little has or is ever likely to change. Nearly 50 issues in and Dave is still able to surprise us with the breadth and variation of his story telling and willingness to extend artistic boundaries beyond the confines of the comic book medium.

Two Days Before

Cerebus arrives back at The Regency roaring drunk, and not particularly concerned that Lord Julius intends to replace him as the ranking diplomatic representative of Palnu in Iest with Elrod. Even had the aardvark been sober I doubt the news would have bothered him overly much. He would have been angry, because that's largely Cerebus' state of being, and it would have annoyed him that he was being passed over for someone he can't stand, like Elrod, but he's had and been removed from posts of power and importance before. He simply picks himself up, moves on and lurches to his next disaster.

Once Astoria has cruelly put a medicinal compound in Cerebus' drink that cures inebriation by bringing on an instant hangover, he's willing to work with her. Actually he's willing to do anything so long as she doesn't speak too loudly. If such a compound genuinely existed in this world the pharmaceutical company that had the patent would be worth a fortune. Cerebus' hangover cure consists of: a dozen raw eggs, twelve gallons of water and hot towels. We had seen him utilise this cure in one of the add ons in one of the Swords of Cerebus collections.

While Astoria prepares Cerebus' wardrobe in preparation for his counter attack against Lord Julius and Elrod to retain his position in the sun in Iest, she explains to him the current political situation and the economy of Estarcion. To back his nomination of Elrod, Lord Julius has adopted the albino as his son. Silverspoon is never mentioned again, to tell the truth I would have preferred to see the Prince Valiant parody return rather than Elrod. Astoria's explanation of how the world of high finance in Estarcion works is largely how it works in our world today. I found it interesting that Dave wrote this in the early 80's and here in 2009 it still applies almost word for word.

Astoria has somehow emasculated Cerebus, and he is well and truly under her thumb. A chance meeting with Mac Mufin (the Pigtish leader, not the footballer), serves to remind us, and him, that at heart Cerebus is still a two fisted brawler who will visit great physical harm on anyone who upsets him too much.

That evening Astoria gets the Prime Minister of Iest to join her and Cerebus for coffee after dinner. The Prime Minister would rather enjoy Astoria's company, and Cerebus gives the impression that he'd rather be somewhere else, doing something else. Astoria has a mind like a steel trap, and will not be deviated from her mission to ensure Cerebus remains the ranking diplomatic representative of Palnu in Iest. The Prime Minister would also prefer this, but he does not want to upset Lord Julius, because his position is dependant on the master bureaucrat's will.

While the Prime Minister and Astoria are arguing, they appear oblivious to the fact that the waiter serving them coffee is actually Lord Julius. Cerebus does pick up on his presence, and speaks to him away from the other two. As always Julius stalls and says nothing, but drops a clue to Astoria's origins revealing that she had a Cirinist connection.

Cerebus is in his suite getting changed for another engagement with the Prime Minister and a delegation of businessmen, when there's a knock at the door and a clerk informs him that a Mistress Jaka is there to see him!

OMG! When I read that last line I almost couldn't wait to see the next issue. While my spirits dropped at the reappearance of Elrod, and I was mildly intrigued by Bran suddenly coming back, I was positively elated that at long last we were going to see Jaka again. Although he doesn't deserve it, there was something in me that wanted Cerebus to find happiness with Jaka and I'd been waiting since issue #6 to see her again.

Swords of Cerebus #4: The Palnu Trilogy

Now we get to the Palnu trilogy. In his introduction Dave describes it as a 71 page story, which it actually is, it's not a 3 issue arc, it is a self contained story. It's a 71 page story in 3 chapters.

The first chapter, or rather the prologue: is Silverspoon, which was Dave's parody or homage to Hal Foster's Prince Valiant. Dave drew Valiant as Silverspoon; a spoiled, vain, rich kid who looked for adventure as his way of getting his kicks. Each page of the story was like one of the old Prince Valiant full page strips. In the intro Dave apologised if it offended any fans, as Hal Foster died not long before publication, but he had not intended any offence. The journey with Silverspoon comes to a bad end, and both Cerebus and the vain young man are held as captives by the savage inhabitants on the island they are shipwrecked on. They are rescued by forces loyal to Silverspoon's father; Lord Julius, and that is where the story really begins.

The Walls of Palnu: Lord Julius, the director of trade and elected ruler of Palnu looks, talks and acts like Groucho Marx. For those of you new to Cerebus I can see you saying "Huh?" That was my reaction at first, then I did a little research. Groucho Marx's real first name was Julius and he once played Rufus T Firefly, the ruler of Ruritainian kingdom Freedonia in Duck Soup. I do think Dave Sim's idea of using him as a main character and political player in Cerebus was inspired genius.

Lord Julius made Cerebus his Kitchen Staff Supervisor in gratitude for saving his son's life. As Cerebus soon came to learn the titles in Palnu don't mean what they say. The Kitchen Staff Supervisor is actually in charge of Lord Julius' security forces, however he can't be referred to as Director of Security Forces as Lord Julius gave that title to the Secretary of the Navy. As Lord Julius explains: 'When you're running a bureacracy, the best way to safeguard your job is to make sure you're the only one who knows how the whole thing works.'

Cerebus uncovered a plot to assassinate Lord Julius, and went in search of who was behind it. Cerebus managed to kill one of the assassins, but was no closer to finding out who planned it all, and that means that Lord Julius' life is still in danger. The old Cerebus fur smells when he gets it wet gag is recycled.

A Day in the Pits: After trying and failing to advise Lord Julius to take less risks, Cerebus continued his search for the revolutionaries who were planning to kill Lord Julius, overthrow his government and take over. The search led him to some pits under the city. Lord Julius and Cerebus came across a giant snake. Cerebus battled and killed the snake, but the revolutionaries were still at large.

A Night At The Masque: despite the danger Lord Julius held a gala ball. Cerebus attended in order to protect his employer and the readers are reintroduced to two old friends: Turg and E'Lass from issue #6 (it is no accident that these two reappear in this issue as there is another echo from issue #6 at the end of the story). E'Lass had his eyes on a diamond worn by one of the guests. At some point he became separated from Turg and it was never explained what became of E'Lass' large, not so bright protector. E'Lass managed to separate the diamond from the owner, but as Cerebus followed the head conspirator into the same set of tunnels as E'Lass fled to, the thief thought the aardvark was after him. Cerebus failed to find E'Lass, and the thief got rid of the diamond and promised to go straight only to discover he was never the object of Cerebus' search. Cerebus unmasked, and then killed the leader of the revolutionaries, who was actually Lord Julius's Social Secretary, and then he left Palnu. As Lord Julius watched Cerebus ride away a messenger delivered a message from his niece: Jaka.

Aaaaarrrggghhhhhh!