Flashman- Chapter 9

A couple of chapters ago I said things went pear shaped for the British Army in Afghanistan, they fell apart totally in Chapter 9.

Flashman's rather urbane captor; Akbar Khan, gives his proposal to the British forces to Flashman to deliver. The soldier himself thinks it's a rather good offer, but even if he didn't, it gives him the chance to get back to safety behind British lines, and to do that Flashman would deliver a marriage proposal from Akbar Khan to Queen Victoria if that's what the Afghan prince wanted him to do.

By appearing back in Kabul alive Flashman's reputation is enhanced further, and the Bloody Lance incident given further credence. Even a character like Colin Mackenzie, one of the few British soldiers at the time that George MacDonald Fraser through his anti hero seems to have any genuine respect for, starts to believe the legend that Flashman is beginning to weave about himself. McNaghten is going to take Khan's offer, Elphy Bey is less certain, but by this stage Elphy Bey isn't certain about anything. He's ill and largely bed ridden. Flashman even wonders if his mind hasn't begun to wonder. These days we'd say he had Alzheimers.

This chapter was readers first introduction to Lady Florentia Sale. Although Flashman often directs insults in his memoirs via this remarkable woman's way, one senses that he has a sneaking respect for her. He didn't think much of her husband's abilities as a commander, but like many at the time couldn't deny that he was a damn good fighter. Lady Sale is another intelligent person who has fallen for the Flashman stories, never realising that most of it was luck and a strong instinct of self preservation.

The meeting to arrange the deal between Akbar Khan and the British is unsurprisingly a complete and utter mess. The British have been played for fools and McNaghten, Mackenzie and Trevor are all taken prisoner. The only reason that Flashman isn't also captured is because he alone keeps his head. It's something that he's very proud of later in life. He mounts a white mare that was given as a gift and takes off. He even manages in his frantic escape to see McNaghten executed, although he gets the impression that this was done against the wishes of Akbar Khan.

Once he's safe Flashman employs a tactic he's used many times since; he insults his enemy and makes threatening noises about what he'd do if only he could get to them. He's done this often and people always fall for it, it's enhanced his reputation and made him quite the 'full of pepper' hero.

Elphy Bey finally makes the decision to retreat, even though he's advised that they could no doubt fight their way out of the situation. On the first morning of retreat poor old Elphinstone even manages to shoot himself in the backside. An incident that prompted the fiery Brigadier Shelton to remark that he was trying to blow his brains out.

Flashman determines that by hook or by crook he's getting safe back to India, and gets the reliable and useful Sergeant Hudson on board. He hand picks a hard fighting band of lancers and provisions himself and them to ensure that he at least will arrive in India without any further injury.

He receives a letter from Elspeth. A flowery missive in which she compares him to Hector, Achilles and Ajax. I love reading Elspeth's letters to Harry, they are so totally her. According to Flashman it was very much the fashion of the time for wives at home to compare their warring husbands to the heroes of Greek legends. As Flashman so eloquently puts it: It was a common custom at that time, in the more romantic females, to see their soldier husbands and sweethearts as Greek heores, instead of the whoremongering, drunken clowns most of them were..

The letter reminds him that it's been some time since he had a woman, and he sets his sights on Mrs Betty Parker, the wife of a much older cavalry officer. As soon as it's practical, Flashman has Parker sent off on a mission, not necessarily fatal, but it does get him out of the way. Definitely shades of King David, Uriah the Hittite and his desirable wife Bathsheba in this little episode.

The whole lot of them set off lock, stock and barrel to make their way across some of the most inhospitable country in the world, being harried by tribesmen armed to the teeth the entire way. Should be an interesting journey.

Flashman - Chapter 8

At the beginning of Chapter 8, Flashman comes to, surprised that he is alive, but he's gone from the frying pan into the fire. He's survived the mob, but been delivered into the hands of Gul Shah. In some ways he was lucky that Shah hated him so much, had he not earned the Gilzai warlord's enmity he would have been hacked to death like Burnes. According to Gul Shah the mob cut Sekundar Burnes into 85 pieces, he counted them.

Because of what Flashman did to Narreeman, Gul Shah has a very special fate planned for him. As usual when presented with his offence the cowardly soldier lies through his teeth, then claims that he didn't actually do anything. It must be a reflex, because it never works, but he never fails to do it.

Gul Shah has one of the more bizarre methods of death arranged for Flashman. He calls a squat, but powerfully built dwarf into the room, and Flashman has to engage in a tug of war with this creature. The loser falls into a pit filled with highly venomous snakes. Flashman is lucky to survive and it is only the entrance of an unexpected guest that allows our hero to turn the tables on his tormentor and pull the dwarf into the deadly pit.

The newcomer shows Flashman every courtesy, removing him from the dungeon and out of Gul Shah's custody. Once this man has ascertained the depth of Flashman's knowledge, or lack thereof, he reveals his identity and Flashman finds out that he has been saved by none other than Akbar Khan.

The torture session with the dwarf in the dungeon was brilliant stuff, real boys own type adventure. If they ever happen to film Flashman this is a scene that needs to be included.

Hellbent by Cherie Priest

Hellbent is Cherie Priest's sequel to her Urban Fantasy debut; Bloodshot.

Vampire art thief Raylene Pendle is settling into what passes for domestic bliss in her life, having set up house with blind vampire Ian Stott and her two adopted children; the runaways Pepper and Domino. Former Navy SEAL and drag queen Adrian/Rose is also nearby, having decided to settle in Seattle after the events of Bloodshot.

Raylene receives contact from her most regular source for burglary jobs; the shady art dealer Horace. Horace has a particularly bizarre request for his supernatural thief. He wants her to steal a box of baculum. Baculum are the penis bones of magical creatures. A slew of 'dick jokes' ensues. Maybe I'm juvenile, but I found many of these highly amusing.

In the process of obtaining the box, Raylene also acquires a kitten. While trying to track down who now has the magical artifacts, Ian's vampire father dies and Raylene and Adrian find themselves interceding in vampire politics between two vampire houses; those of San Francisco and Atlanta. The Atlanta house is of particular interest to Adrian, as they are believed to know about his sister; Isabella.

The Raylene Pendle series is more about the relationships between the principals than anything else, although the stories are exciting and involving, plus the government conspiracy started in Bloodshot hangs over the whole thing. I particularly enjoy the developing relationship between Raylene and Adrian. There's never the issue of it being anything other than platonic, but even without them realising it they may become ghoul and vampire mistress. Cherie Priest's dialogue sparkles and her characters are amusing and worth reading about. As I've said I'm not really a fan of the vampire hero in Urban Fantasy, but Raylene has hooked me and I'll be keeping an eye out for the followup to Hellbent.

Flashman - Chapter 7

Chapter 7 of Flashman is where things really started to go pear shaped for the British army in Afghanistan. When an officer gives the below assessment of a commander it's really not that surprising.

This is how Harry Flashman looking back on his 60 plus years of experience on the battlefields of the world saw General Elphinstone, commonly known as Elphy Bey.

Let me say that when I talk of disasters I speak with authority. I have served at Balaclava (Flashman at the Charge), Cawnpore (Flashman in the Great Game) and Little Big Horn (Flashman and the Redskins). Name the biggest born fools who wore uniform in the 19th century - Cardigan, Sale, Custer, Raglan, Lucan - I knew them all. Think of the conceivable misfortunes that can arise from combinations of folly, cowardice, and sheer bad luck, and I'll give chapter and verse. But I still state unhesitatingly, that for pure, vacillating stupidity, for superb incompetence to command, for ignorance combined with bad judgement - in short, for the true talent for catastrophe - Elphy Bey stood alone. Others abide our questions, but Elphy outshines them all as the greatest military idiot of our own or any other day.

Only he could have permitted the First Afghan War and let it develop to such a ruinous defeat. It was not easy: he started with a good army, a secure position, some excellent officers, a disorganised enemy, and repeated opportunities to save the situation. But Elphy, with the touch of true genius, swept aside these obstacles with unerring precision, and out of order wrought complete chaos. We shall not, with luck, look upon his like again.

That is one of the best and biggest serves I've ever seen delivered up to any military commander and George MacDonald Fraser let Flashman have some beauties, but that one pretty much stands alone as true brilliance. With people like Elphy Bey in charge, and as asserted above he wasn't totally alone in his incompetence, it's a wonder that the British Empire lasted as long as it did. However using Afghanistan as an example may be unfair. Since the time Flashman was set, this small, but strategically important country has also managed to outlast the Soviet Union at it's height and they will also defeat the mighty USA military machine currently struggling there. So that Elphy Bey failed there is not really all that surprising, although from what is written in Flashman he was probably one of the worst people for the job.

With Elphy Bey and McNaghten running the show things quickly went from bad to worse in Afghanistan, and even making a quick getaway from Kabul was going to be a problem if it came to that because 'Fighting Bob' Sale was having trouble clearing the passes of rebellious tribesmen. When he wasn't being bullied into running messages to Sale, Flashman stayed bunkered down with the politicals (the 'politicals', of which Flashman was one, were diplomats, foreign agents and even spies, long before MI6 or even it's predecessor the Home Office). The pugnacious, and occasionally brilliant, Scotsman Alexander 'Sekundar' Burnes was talking about taking desperate measures and becoming far too cocky and confident that reinforcements would reach them before the situation became inescapable.

Eventually they were attacked and had to make a run for it, but for Burnes' over confidence they may have gotten out in one piece, but Burnes' actions got them noticed, and he and his younger brother Charlie were both killed. Jim Broadfoot (brother of George) also died. At the end of the chapter Flashman has seen the Burnes brothers killed, and has been knocked unconscious in a mob, believing it is also the end for him.

Flashman - Chapter 6

The 6th chapter is both long and controversial for something that happens late in it.

Despite saying that travelling is boring, and that he won't go into the tedious detail of his journey from Calcutta to Kabul, Flashman does a great job of describing the country and what he encounters along the way.

He took Fetnab with him, but 'sold' her off to an artillery major early on, because she wasn't enjoying the trip and was irritating Flashman. He did later regret it, because he was fond of her, but I suspect it's really because he had no one to have sex with.

At Peshawar he encounters one of those characters that is so outlandish they can't possibly be real, but he is. His name is Avitabile and he's an Italian adventurer, who somehow became the governor of a province at the very fringe of the British Empire. He and Flashman actually got along quite well. It was Avitabile who gave Flashman his first insight into the tribes of Afghanistan and warned him against ever trusting the Gilzais. In Avitabile's opinion the only good Gilzai was a dead one.

Flashman encounters the second 'can't possibly be a real person' at Kabul. His name was Sir Willoughby Cotton, and he was who General Elphinstone (usually referred to as Elphy Bey) would take over from. Cotton, upon hearing Flashman's name, says he attended Rugby with a Flashman. This was Buck Flashman. Harry owns to the relationship and Cotton says he was expelled from the school. Never one to miss an opportunity to ingratiate himself with a superior Flashman says that he too was expelled. Cotton asks what for and when Flashman says being drunk, Cotton roars with laughter and says that he was expelled for leading a mutiny. He's not lying. in 1797 Willoughby Cotton was the ringleader of a revolt at Rugby School, where the headmaster's door was blown in with gunpowder!

Flashman winds up with the 'politicals', men like Alexander 'Sekundar' Burnes and George Broadfoot. He learns that things are less formal on the frontier and all the officers openly disparage their commander in McNaghten and that they don't have a particularly high opinion of Elphy Bey, either.

Flashman soon finds himself mixing with the locals outside the fort and he picks up Pushtu (the local language), in fact he becomes so good at it that Burnes recommends him for a diplomatic mission to the half-mad Gilzai chief; Sher Afzul. The British need Afzul on side, because he can intercede on their behalf with Akbar Khan (the son of the deposed Dost Mohammed) and his ally Gul Shah, just Gul Shah's name tells you he's bad news. If ever a name had to be invented for a villain (mind you it was his real name), that would be it.

Sher Afzul also takes a liking to Flashman (he definitely has charm when he wants it), and Flashy even makes a friend for life of Afzul's 16 year old son; Ilderim Khan. Afzul makes a 'gift' of a dancing girl called Narreeman to Flashman. The girl is Gul Shah's girlfriend, and it looks like she's become a pawn in a power struggle between Shah and Afzul. Knowing all this Flashman really shouldn't have done what he did. Actually he shouldn't have done what he did at all. This is the infamous rape scene. Flashman himself knows this is a step too far, and he never does it again. There are quite a few people who can't get past this incident and generally don't read on past the first book. It really does drive home what an amoral and pathetic creature Harry Flashman is, and each time I read it I ask myself why I do so often come out on this man's side. In my own defence I will say that Harry does get better after this. He's still a coward, a bully and a cheat, and he does treat women abominably, but he does mellow slightly. I did read an interview with George MacDonald Fraser where he was asked about the rape incident, he stopped short of saying it was a mistake to include it, but he did give the impression that if he'd been able to rewrite the book that scene probably wouldn't have ended up in it. It makes Flashman two enemies: Narreeman and Gul Shah, it's rather hard to know who was the most deadly of the two.

There's an attempt on Afzul's life after this. Flashman, Iqbal and the stalwart Sergeant Hudson are forced to fight for their lives. Flashman's nerve breaks and he winds up getting Iqbal killed. The Pathan curses Flashman with his dying breath. Hudson doesn't witness the incident, but the first people on the scene see carnage, Flashman with a bloody blade and the dead Iqbal and assume that Flashman fought his way out of the attack, but lost his rissaldar in the defence. Flashman so often gets seen as the hero and anyone who knows differently is conveniently killed or discredited. He gets the nickname 'Bloody Lance' out of this one. Afzul even gives Ilderim to Flashman as a hostage for his good behaviour, believing that 'Bloody Lance' will not let any harm come to his son.

Flashman - Chapter 5

For someone who did everything he possibly could to avoid being posted to India, Flashman's opening comment in Chapter 5 is rather curious: There may be better countries for a soldier to serve in than India, but I haven't seen them.. Despite his impressions of the country back in England, Flashman is an adaptable chap, and once he finds out how things work for a moneyed British officer in India he soon makes himself very comfortable. He rents a house and procures some servants, including a nubile teenage bed warmer by the name of Fetnab. Judging by her description the lass on the cover may be a depiction of Fetnab. She serves a double purpose for Harry. She keeps him busy in bed, teaching him the ninety seven ways of making love (a Kama Sutra reference), although Flashman considers it all nonsense as the seventy fourth position is the same as the seventy third, but with your fingers crossed, this is one of those laugh out loud moments that George MacDonald Fraser regularly inserted into the narrative when you least expected it. The other thing that Fetnab taught her employer/owner was Hindustani. Flashman has an ear for languages, but never picked up Greek or Latin at school because he had no interest in them. He muses that the best way to learn a language is to spend a time in bed with a native girl, he would have gotten more of the classics from an hour's wrestling with a Greek girl than he did in four years with Arnold.

As well as the language, Flashman practises the local custom of lancing from a horse. He is tilting at pegs (and pariah dogs) one morning with his rissalder; a Pathan called Muhammed Iqbal, when he is summoned by an observing British general by the name of Crawford. Two things about the young British officer impress the general. One is his ability on the back of a horse, the other is his facility with Hindustani. Crawford has been in India for nearly 30 years and hasn't been able to pick up more than a handful of sentences, to his ear Flashman has been in the country for 3 weeks and speaks the language like a local. He invites Flashman to his residence that evening.

One thing led to another (although Crawford obviously had this planned from the moment he met Harry Flashman) and the two soldiers are attending a dinner with the Governor-General Lord Auckland and his sister Lady Emily Eden. The Governor-General and his sister take a great interest in this charming young officer and inquire as to where he will be stationed. Not having any great enthusiasm for Company service (the British East India Company effectively ran the country and were the ones who decided where the soldiers were stationed) Flashman indicates this to Lady Emily. Crawford agrees, as does Lord Auckland and they begin to talk about a posting where Flashman's talents can be put to best use. Flashman believes he's landed on his feet, and dreams of a relatively easy position as a galloper for General Elphinstone.

Then the news of where General Elphinstone and his staff are being posted is delivered; Afghanistan. In the 19th century Afghanistan was one of the most far flung areas of the British Empire. Flashman describes the country as being 'the hottest, hardest, most dangerous place in the world.' The more things change, the more they stay the same, eh? I'd bet a few American Marines have applied the same description to Afghanistan in the 21st century as Flashman did in the 19th. Flashman knows that refusing what they see as a generous offer from a general, the sister of a Governor-General and the Governor-General himself is a career limiting move, so with a sinking heart, he accepts. He later takes out his rage and fear on Fetnab, this makes it rather hard to feel much sympathy for him.

Flashman's description of the political situation in Afghanistan, like his description of the country itself, has an eerie parallel today. Afghanistan lay between Russia and the areas it controlled in Turkestan, and the British Empire's Jewel in the Crown in India. The British had invaded the country, removed Dost Mohammed, who they suspected of having Russian sympathies, and replaced him with the less popular, but more amenable Shah Sujah on the throne. The whole thing was a tinderbox just waiting to go kaboom and Flashy said it was just his luck that he was going to end up on top of the resulting conflagration.

Among Thieves - A Tale of the Kin by Douglas Hulick

Among Thieves is Douglas Hulick’s debut novel, and the first of what looks like turning out to be a consistently entertaining series. The best way I can describe this quickly is to say that it is a cracking good read. Among Thieves treads some familiar ground, but does so with style and class.

Drothe is a Nose (a sort of underworld spy in the ‘thieves cant’ of Ildrecca), he plays a dangerous game, working for two Upright Men (criminal overlords) as well as for himself. One of Drothe’s most lucrative sidelines is the acquisition of powerful relics, which he usually auctions off to the highest bidder. Almost at the opening of Among Thieves the book’s first person protagonist comes in possession of information leading to a particularly hard to find relic. The search for and acquisition of this relic, which seems to be wanted by everyone in Ildrecca for a host of reasons, will lead Drothe into a deadly game of cross and double cross where he can trust almost no one. His family and friends will be put in danger and threatened. To get out of this one intact Drothe is going to have to empty his large bag of tricks, call in every favour he’s ever earned and test his friendships to the very limits.

Very little of this is probably new to a fantasy veteran, particularly of the 'gritty' kind, but Hulick has created something very enjoyable with Among Thieves. There’s top notch world building and characterisation, it’s tightly plotted, the description creates atmosphere without boring the reader by delving into inconsequential details, and the magic system is interesting and makes sense, it doesn’t over saturate the story or give the heroes an easy out, either.

The teeming Byzantine city of Ildrecca with it’s exotic mix of cultures and thriving communities of thieves (the Kin of the book’s sub title), merchants and nobles is Drothe’s world, and he is the readers guide to it. The ‘thieves cant’ (a curious mixture of Elizabethan and modern 20th century criminal slang) is something that sets Among Thieves apart from many similar works. It allows Hulick to be descriptive and give the world some depth, but also means he doesn’t rely too heavily on profanity to get his message across. Some readers have found the ‘cant’ a little hard to come to grips with, but Drothe is an engaging and informative narrator, and he gives readers enough explanation to understand. I personally didn’t need it, but I think a glossary of the ‘cant’ at the back of the book may have been helpful for some, and a nice touch.

The magic makes sense, it’s employed sparingly, but not so little that it is non existent, but again not so much that the reader thinks no matter how dire the situation Drothe and his allies find themselves in, some hitherto unknown magical trick will get them out of it. It exists, it can be useful, but don’t rely too heavily on it.

The characterisation is strong. I particularly liked the banter between Drothe and his best friend; the blademaster Bronze Degan. For that matter Degan was a favourite character, he doesn’t say much, but what he does say is often both amusing and pertinent, he’s loyal and deadly, he lives his life by a code of honour that he will not allow to be compromised by anyone or anything. Drothe and Degan are the main characters, there are others who play smaller parts, but are just as well written. The many members of the Kin are worth it just for their colourful nicknames. I particularly liked two of the female characters; Christiana, Drothe's younger sister who has married into the nobility. There was genuine affection between the siblings, despite the fact that Ana, as Drothe calls her, has tried to have her brother murdered a couple of times. The other was Drothe's bodyguard Jess the Fowler. I hope readers get to see more of both in future books, as Jess could even turn out to be Drothe's love interest. Romance was one element that was rather conspicuously absent from Among Thieves.

The tight plotting allows Among Thieves to roll along merrily without overdoing the action, however when steel is drawn and blades are crossed the choregraphy is another of the book's strengths. Not everyone can write realistic and convincing fight scenes. One of Hulick's hobbies is fencing, and he's used his knowledge to enhance his beautifully written sword fights.

I've read a few debuts this year and Among Thieves is head and shoulders the most assured and my favourite (Ready Player One is a sci-fi, so takes out that title for me), the book is even at this stage likely to end up in my top 5 reads of 2011.

Although the book can be easily read as a standalone, no messy cliffhangers, Douglas Hulick has been contracted to write at least 3 Tales of the Kin books and the second; Sworn in Steel , is due out in April of 2012. I'm there!