Flashman at the Charge - Chapter 8

Once again Flashman is a Russian prisoner, only this second time around is not likely to as pleasant as his first stint.

For starters his jailer is the frightening and intense Ignatieff. The Russian mastermind isn’t entirely happy that East got away, especially as Flashman lets it be known that they were both aware of the plan to invade northern India via central Asia. On the other hand Flashman, not East, was the man he wanted. He then arranges a little demonstration for Flashman’s benefit.

A terrified soldier up on charges of insubordination is brought into the yard, the man is tied down to a low table and then Ignatieff produces a long whip, it’s quite thick and heavy at one end and thin and sharp at the other. This is the famed and feared Russian knout. It’s use, Ignatieff informs his prisoner, is illegal. However rules don’t apply to people like Ignatieff. There are two types of strokes with the knout, both of which Ignatieff has his flogger show Harry. The drawing stroke makes use of the whip’s tapered end and it cuts the skin, drawing blood, hence the name, there is debate about how many drawing strokes it takes to kill a fit and healthy man. The other stroke; the flat stroke, uses the weight of the knout to snap the spine, properly delivered it kills with one blow. After having killed a man to make a point, Ignatieff tells Flashman that if he doesn’t do as he is told then he will use him to settle the debate about how many drawing strokes it takes to kill a fit and healthy male.

For reasons of plot development Ignatieff turns into a Bond villain, giving Harry full details of his plan to invade northern India and congratulating himself on his own cleverness. Fraser does make a point of having Flashman observe how Ignatieff is too arrogant and confident by far and puts it down to his youth at the time (he was in his early 20’s). What makes Flashman valuable to the Russian nobleman is his reputation in central Asia, he’s done his research well and knows about Flashman’s Afghan exploits (Flashman) even down to his nick name of Bloody Lance. He’s not entirely sure of Flashman, though. On the one hand the reports from the front and his charge of the Russian battery fit with Flashman’s hero reputation, but what Ignatieff has seen of Harry’s behaviour first hand don’t fit with it and he’s highly dubious of the reputation Harry has a fire eating soldier. He wants to use the Englishman to help get the tribes of central Asia onside, because he’s held in high regard by many of them.

Although he’s still terrified of the knout and Ignatieff himself, Flashman’s spirits pick up a little when he hears where he’s going. Afghanistan and the surrounding territories may be hellish places, but to Harry Flashman they’re home country. He knows the languages, the customs and the people. If he can get away he’ll blend in with them and the Russians will never find him. Ignatieff doesn’t say anything, but he puts a tight guard on Harry during their journey, because he may also know exactly what the wily Englishman is thinking. Harry’s awfully good at running away.

Harry is surprised at the activity and size of the Russian camp in central Asia, but doesn’t have long to admire it all before he’s thrown into a cell with a couple of locals. He doesn’t recognise either man, but one of them must have upset the Russians because he’s been suspended from the ceiling of the cell by chains secured at his wrists and ankles and has to be supported by his cell mate so that he doesn’t dislocate his limbs.

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

The Wind in the Willows has been a much loved children’s classic almost since author Kenneth Grahame first released it in 1908. The idea that animals dress, live and act like people in animal form wasn’t new even back then, in that respect Grahame could be considered a contemporary of Beatrix Potter, although Potter seemed to write for a younger audience than Grahame. The Wind in the Willows began life as stories that the former secretary of the Bank of England told to his young son Alastair, in fact Mr Toad is in part based on the boy’s headstrong nature.

It’s not really a single narrative, but rather a series of stories or adventures had by the principal characters of Mole, Ratty (actually a water rat or vole), Toad and Badger. Otter also occasionally pops in for a say and the search for his missing son; Portly, by Mole and Ratty is actually the basis of one of the most fantastical chapters; The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, where the mole and the water rat find the missing young otter in care of Pan.

The bulk of the story centres on Mr Toad. The wealthy, but irresponsible and vain amphibian becomes obsessed with motor cars, which back in 1908 were still in their infancy as a mode of transport, eventually steals a car, is caught and sentenced to 20 years in gaol. He escapes disguised as a washerwoman, leads the police on a merry dance, is eventually acquitted and has to take his mansion; Toad Hall, back from a band of weasels and stoats that have appropriated it.

The major characters all serve a purpose, the wide eyed and naïve Mole kicks the whole thing off by abandoning spring cleaning his hole and meeting Ratty on his beloved river. Ratty is a dependable good natured loyal friend to both the deserving Mole and the far less deserving Toad. Toad embodies many of society’s worst qualities, but is somehow appealing all the same. He seems to be the most popular, or possibly the most memorable character in the book, whether that’s because he really is or because the best known retelling of the story; Disney’s The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr Toad, centres mainly on the second half of the book covering Toad’s escapade, is debatable. Badger is another stout and loyal, if somewhat gruff, companion.

I’m sure the author meant it as a series of stories featuring anthropomorphic animals to entertain his son, but because of the time it was written and with Grahame’s eye for detail and characterisation, as well as the social circles he moved in, it’s also a gentle dig at the middle and upper class Edwardian society of the time, especially Toad, cast as one of the increasingly irrelevant aristocracy of the age.

It’s a gentle whimsical series of tales and well worth the time taken to read it, it’s one of those books that can be read as a child and appreciated for different reasons as an adult.

Kenneth Grahame was not alone in writing entertaining stories of the goings on of animal folk. There’s the aforementioned Beatrix Potter. Later on Richard Adams Watership Down came along and A.R Lloyd’s underrated Kine. Garry Kilworth’s House of Tribes, featuring mice is also well worth reading in this vein. William Horwood’s Duncton Moles series is along those lines and in fact Horwood also wrote 4 sequels to The Wind in the Willows (The Willows in Winter, Toad Triumphant, The Willows and Beyond and The Willows at Christmas).

Flashman at the Charge - Chapter 7

In the opening of the 7th chapter of Flashman at the Charge Pencherjevsky’s house is besieged by peasants enraged at the callous murder of their priests. Throughout his travels through Russia and during his sojourn at Pencherjevsky's, Flashman had viewed the serfs as little better than beasts of burden. He had occasionally wondered if they had a breaking point, apparently they did and the senseless murder of the priest was it. It seemed that the local landlord could do anything he wished to them, but hurt or kill their priest and you crossed a line. This revolt must have seemed pretty major to Harry because he compared it to some of the other major uprisings he’d seen throughout his long career, including Kabul (Flashman) and Peking (a packet that never unfortunately surfaced). Pencherjevsky urges Flashman and East to take Valla and a sled and make for safety, he strongly hints that Valla is pregnant with Flashman’s child. Initially East doesn’t want to leave, but Flashman reminds him of his ‘duty’ to escape and he’s all for it, especially when he realises that they’ll be doing so with Valla.

The Russian sled is one of the more interesting things that Harry has made his escape on, and it would film brilliantly, being both exciting and funny at the same time. Harry and East are initially chased by wolves. Valla is largely unconscious for this. East drives and Harry occupies himself by throwing things at the wolves. Mostly rugs, but they don’t slow the starving beasts down unless he can score a direct hit, they also ignore the food, generally bread, that Harry hurls at them in the vain hope they’ll give up the chase. They do manage to outpace the wolves long enough to reach a small settlement, where they rest, refuel and take on fresh horses.

Harry manages to content himself with Valla, she seems to have quite taken to his lovemaking and is happy to let Flashman take his pleasure with her. East is too interested in driving to chance a look behind the sled’s cover and it appears that Harry and Valla are relatively quiet about their business. What the two Englishmen are making for is a narrow causeway called the Arrow of Arabat. It’s a great name, very evocative and it just screams 'boys own adventure' of the 19th and early 20th centuries. It’s actually a real geographical phenomenon and it will carry Harry and East to a British held area where they can report to their British command about Ignatieff’s plan for Central Asia and Northern India (the area we now know as Pakistan).

They look home free and in the Flashman books that’s always a dangerous thing. Harry’s lost count of how many times he can see the finishing post, only to miss sight of the dirty big pothole right under his feet. This time the pothole is in the form of a group of mounted Russian soldiers. Because the cavalry aren’t towing a sled they can move faster than the escaping soldiers and may be able to take them, the sled needs to be lightened. East drives like a madman and Flashman starts throwing everything out, including the canopy, which exposes them to the elements, but cuts down on drag, when the Russians still keep gaining on them Flashman does something that while it was a shock to me the first time I read it, I really should have expected. He hurls Valla out of the sled! Personal survival at all costs. East is horrified, partially because it’s such a callous act, which could have killed the girl and partially because he’s still got a crush on her. Flashman convinces him to keep on going and plays it so that it looks like he’s a stone hearted so and so who will do anything for Queen and Country when it counts.

Unfortunately the sled comes to grief on the ice and Flashman is pinned under it. East has two options here. He can leave Flashman and leg it, probably making it to the British outpost with his vital information, or he can stay and help Harry, but they’ll probably both be caught. He takes the first option, telling Harry that he can’t let his sacrifice and his actions in possibly killing Valla go to naught. When the boot’s on the other foot Harry isn’t quite so brave or forgiving, he calls East every name he can think of, and believes even 50 years later with Harry ‘Scud’ East long dead, that the action was taken largely out of spite for Valla, not due to his duty.

The Lies of Locke Lamora - read along Part 2

This is the second part of the Lies of Locke Lamora read along. This week the questions have been provided by Dark Cargo. I think I may actually be on time this week!

1) Do you think Locke can pull off his scheme of playing a Midnighter who is working with Don Salvara to capture the Thorn of Camorr? I mean, he is now playing two roles in this game - and thank goodness for that costume room the Gentlemen Bastards have!

We’re talking about Locke Lamora here. THE Locke Lamora! His entire life that readers have seen so far is one big elaborate lie. He can pull off dual roles with his eyes shut.

2) Are you digging the detail the author has put into the alcoholic drinks in this story?


I’d never really thought about this before, but yes I love the sound of some of the Camorri cocktails and wonder if Scott Lynch lists bartending somewhere on his CV.

3) Who is this mysterious lady Gentlemen Bastard Sabetha and what does she mean to Locke?

You get the impression that Sabetha and Locke were once an item and would like to hear more about her. I found a comment about wanting her back a little less crazy, which was said by one of the Sanza’s at dinner one night during an interlude to be rather telling and highly amusing.

4) Are you as creeped out over the use of Wraithstone to create Gentled animals as I am?

Oh, yes the Gentling is really creepy, not just that, but the effect Wraithstone has on humans, too, turning them into mindless addicts.

5) I got a kick out of child Locke's first meeting with Capa Barsavi and his daughter Nazca, which was shortly followed up in the story by Barsavi granting adult Locke permission to court his daughter! Where do you think that will lead? Can you see these two together?

Nazca comes across as not dissimilar to Sabetha in personality, a good friend, but a dangerous enemy. I could never see her and Locke together, they’re friends, but that’s all, she was as horrified by her father’s idea as Locke was.

6) Capa Barsavi is freaked out over rumors of The Gray King and, in fact, us readers are privy to a gruesome torture scene. The Gray King is knocking garristas off left and right. What do you think that means? Barsavi is scared and paranoid.

The Gray King has an agenda, he’s killing garristas and the biggest garrista of the lot is Barsavi himself. The Gray King whoever he is, is announcing his presence and killing off Barsavi’s people to draw the big fish out.

7) In the Interlude: The Boy Who Cried for a Corpse, we learn that Father Chains owes an alchemist a favor, and that favor is a fresh corpse. He sets the boys to figuring out how to provide one, and they can't 'create' the corpse themselves. How did you like Locke's solution to this conundrum?

I loved that we got to see some of Locke’s boyhood escapades. If you were going to make a sitcom out of The Lies of Locke Lamora, this would be an excellent episode. I did wonder how Locke was going to get a corpse, I knew he could do it, he’d already proven that with some of the things he’d done even before the Thiefmaker sold him to Chains, but then when Chains put certain conditions in place Locke had to get creative. The funniest thing of the lot was not only did they get the corpse, thus fulfilling Chains’ brief they ended up making a profit out of it and Chains had all these people giving him extra offerings for what happened in the marketplace. I was in tears of laughter!

Timeless by Gail Carriger

In reviewing Timeless, the 5th and final book of Gail Carriger’s Parasol Protectorate I felt it best to hand the reins over to a friend this once. Ladies and gentleman I present to you Mavis Tedlington-Bumbecrack (Mrs) and her review of Timeless.

We ladies of the colonies are so indebted to Lady Alexia Maccon for keeping us up to date with what is happening in the dear motherland and goings on of the ton.

I admire Lady Maccon, as she has overcome being half Italian (on her father’s side) and lack of a soul to become the closest confidante of London’s best dressed vampire Lord Akeldama, and marry the most desirable werewolf in Her Majesty’s Empire Lord Conall Maccon.

In recent times Lady Maccon has given birth to a delightful child with the unfortunate name of Prudence Alessandra Maccon Akeldama. Prudence is a highly unusual infant. Being the natural offspring of a werewolf and a soulless woman like Lady Maccon she has the enviable ability to leech supernatural talents by touching a vampire or werewolf, to date the most convenient way of removing her enhancements is by being touched by her mother, who shuts off the connection to the supernatural in the same way that she nullifies vampires or werewolves.

In her most recent journal of adventures Lady Maccon finds it necessary to travel to Egypt with her very good friend, the excellent actress and wearer of the most fashionable hats in the Empire; Ivy Tunstell. Meanwhile back in England Lord Akeldama; Lady Maccon’s friend and adoptive father of Prudence, holds the fort with his former drone and now werewolf of the Woolsey pack; Mr Rabiffano (I do so prefer his full name to the truncated Biffy that most people refer to him by), with help from Lord Maccon’s ever so polite beta Professor Randolph Lyall.

We readers are treated to a description of life aboard a cruise ship, and I know that if I ever get the opportunity to travel back to the motherland I ensure that I am accompanied by an acting troupe, they seem to liven the journey up considerably. Of course things were also complicated by Lady Maccon falling overboard at one point and having to be rescued by her terribly brave husband.

In Egypt Lady Maccon and her daughter were summoned to the Vampire Queen of the Alexandria Hive; Matakara. Unfortunately some dastard stole Mrs Tunstell’s daughter Primrose in the mistaken belief she was Prudence. Lord and Lady Maccon, their daughter, Mr and Mrs Tunstell and their entire acting troupe go in pursuit of the kidnapped infant. Lady Maccon’s faithful and highly competent butler; Floote, is exposed as something other than anyone ever thought and the delightful Mrs Tunstell undergoes a shocking transformation.

Sadly Lady Maccon has elected to retire from her life of adventuring and settle down with her husband, daughter and friendly vampires. She will be missed by those of us adrift in the colonies, but our lives have been enriched immeasurably by her efforts and her journals.

Lady Maccon’s chronicler; Miss Carriger assures her readers that next year she will be making available new adventures, but these are about a younger set and take place some years earlier. Your correspondent is eager to see this.

Flashman at the Charge - Chapter 6

Chapter 6 of Flashman at the Charge is a longish one, but it's also highly entertaining.

The last time most readers of Flashman's adventures saw Scud East he was telling Harry that he was sorry to see him expelled from Rugby. Flashman didn't believe him at the time, but with the way Harry East is, it was probably true.

East is, like Flashman, a political. According to the notes in the back the further details of East's military career could be found in the sequel to Tom Brown's Schooldays, Tom Brown at Oxford. Unlike Harry, East takes his duties rather seriously and thinks of escape, that is when he's not lusting after Pencherjevsky's voluptuous blonde daughter; Valla.

The count is described by East as being a loud-mouthed, brutal, tyrannical ogre. After meeting him Flashman agrees, but Pencherjevsky takes a liking to Flashman, seeing him mistakenly as a kindred spirit. Harry's looks and his reputation have once again assisted him. It's highly unlikely that George MacDonald Fraser based Pencherjevsky on a real person, but there was actually a Cossack commander by the name of Pencherjevsky and Fraser links him to that person by connecting him to the same regiment the real Pencherjevsky commanded. It's another example of the great attention to detail that Fraser often does display in the books. I did find a possible continuity error during one of Pencherjevsky's conversations with Flashman. The Count mentions Karl Marx in an unfavourable light and Flashman doesn't think he can mention that the man was an uninvited guest at his wedding (see Royal Flash), and it is true that someone who may have been Marx did show up when Flashman married Duchess Irma, but Flashman never realised who the protestor at the wedding was.

Flashman again comments on the way the serfs were treated. He uses an incident with Valla where she bet a serf's hair at cards and then after the girl had been shorn banished her from the house and begged fifty roubles from her father to get a new maid. Apparently the hair was worth thirty. Flashman also talks about the arbitrary judgements handed down by Pencherjevsky to hs serfs at his weekly meeting with them. They were regularly sentenced to floggings with cudgels or whips and sent to Siberia for the most trifling of matters and yet Pencherjevsky defends himself by saying that he is more lenient than most land holders because he doesn't use the knout or the foot press.

In one of Harry's more bizarre sexual encounters he is introduced to the Russian custom of the steam bath by Pencherjevsky's sister; Sara, whom everyone seems to refer to as Aunt Sara. She birches Harry in the steam, then has him do the same to her before indulging in a frenzied bout of love making. It is after this encounter that Pencherjevsky virtually pimps out Harry to Valla. Valla is married, but the Count doesn't think her husband is capable of getting her with child, and the idea of a grandson sired by Harry appeals to him. Scud East is also besotted with the girl.

A number of high ranking officials turn up to the property for some sort of meeting. Harry East insists that they should eavesdrop and see what they can hear as it may prove useful to the Empire. They hear far more than they should and most of it involves a plot hatched by Ignatieff (to Harry's horror he was present) to forment unrest amongst the natives of India and thus remove the British troops and replace them with Russian ones. East says that they have to escape and deliver this information to their superiors in the British army, he's even researched the route. Harry is of course against this, but has to at least make it look like he's doing the smart thing. There was also the suggestion that Tsar Nicholas of Russia was at the meeting, and if Fraser's reading of Flashman's dates are right then the Tsar didn't live long after the meeting.

Flashman may have been able to sit the war out in relative comfort had it not been for a chance happening. The village's priest and a character called Blank (who Fraser's notes suggest may have been one of Lenin's ancestors) come to Pencherjevsky to beg him to pay the soul tax for one of his serfs, an old lady who cannot afford it. Pencherjevsky refuses and sends his cossacks to teach Blank a lesson. They can't find Blank, but instead flog the priest who dies. The serfs will take a lot, but don't ever interfere with their religion. The chapter ends with the house under attack as the enraged peasants revolt at the murder of their priest.

Flashman at the Charge - Chapter 5

After his harrowing charge into the Russian battery in chapter 4 of Flashman at the Charge, chapter 5 finds the 'pride of the Empire' as a Russian prisoner of war.

Harry actually states that being a prisoner of war in those days wasn't really all that bad. He's done time in all sort of prisons in a number of situations so he speaks from experience. A few things benefited him in the Crimea though. One was he was being held by another European power and they tended to view things very similarly back then, their Tsar later ended up being related to Queen Victoria, war was to some extent thing still considered a 'gentleman's game' and as such prisoners, especially officers, should be treated well. Harry was a recognised hero amongst the other British prisoners, particularly the enlisted men, and in a rare moment of self examination he does actually feel something for these men and the way they look up to him, when he knows they are far braver than he has ever been. The Russians also respect Flashman's bravery for riding into the guns, they don't realise that he was so unmanned by fear that he didn't really know which direction he was going.

Flashman doesn't stay at the front all that long, he is transported inland to be held at the estate of a Count Pencherjevsky; a Cossack. Via his anti-hero George MacDonald Fraser gives readers a good look at how he felt about the Russia of the 1850's. It's a huge country, Harry even compares it to the endless plains of the American West, and the US comes off second best in the land stakes. It's unrelentingly bleak and brutal. Most of this is not due to the landscape, but the Russian institution of serfdom. The serf system still existed in Russia until the later part of the 19th century, it was a form of legalised slavery, and in Harry's opinion the slaves on the plantations in the deep south of America had it better than the supposedly 'free' serfs toiling under Russia's endless skies.

It is on the way to Pencherjevsky's estate that Flashman runs into an extraordinary character. His name is Count Nicholas Pavlovitch Ignatieff, and he would become one of Harry Flashman's greatest adversaries. At the time Flashman sees him as another privileged and brutal Russian officer. He is courteous to Flashman, but only because he sees him as somewhat of a social equal. Both army officers, both from the landed gentry and both from money. Ignatieff is in many ways like John Charity Spring, in that he is a psychotic villain, but he differs from the insane slaving captain in most other respects. Firstly Ignatieff is real, the reality of the man suggests that George MacDonald Fraser took significant liberties with the character to mould him into Harry's adversary. Both John Charity Spring and Ignatieff are capable of great cruelty without giving it a second thought, but where Spring flies into an insane rage, Ignatieff is totally cool and completely in control, he knows what he is doing and it's highly possible that he enjoys it. Harry comes away from the encounter positively terrified of the man.

There's another shock waiting for Harry when he arrives at Pencherjevsky's. He has just eyed off the Count's attractive daughter, and is shown to his quarters which he will share with another British officer. Harry enters the room and comes face to face with Scud East of Rugby.